Can i use jbweld to stretch my fiero chassis?

I will dig up a few of them. But some of these guys are a bit jumpy these days with the democrats blocking oil drilling in the States.

TEACHER ARRESTED

A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule, and a calculator. At a morning press conference, the Attorney General said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

"Al-Gebra is a problem for us," the Attorney General said. "They desire solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns,' but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every triangle.'"

When asked to comment on the arrest, Senator Obama said, "If God had wanted us to have better Weapons of Math Instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes." Democratic leaders told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the Senator.

Please Vote!

http://www.inews3.com/play.php?first=David&last=Newman

Yes, I love Texas. I think you will make a great Ambassador>

Our Tax System Explained: Bar Stool Economics


Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten
comes to $100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go
something like this:


The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
The fifth would pay $1.
The sixth would pay $3.
The seventh would pay $7.
The eighth would pay $12.
The ninth would pay $18.
The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.

So, that's what they decided to do.

The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the
arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve. 'Since you are all
such good customers,' he said, 'I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily
beer by $20.' Drinks for the ten now cost just $80.

The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes so the
first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free.

But what about the other six men - the paying customers? How could they
divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his 'fair share?'

They realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that
from everybody's share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end
up being paid to drink his beer.
So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man's bill
by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each
should pay.

And so:
The fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% savings).
The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33%savings).
The seventh now pay $5 instead of $7 (28%savings).
The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% savings).
The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22% savings).
The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% savings).

Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued t o
drink for free. But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare
their savings.

'I only got a dollar out of the $20,'declared the sixth man. He pointed to
the tenth man,' but he got $10!'

'Yeah, that's right,' exclaimed the fifth man. 'I only saved a dollar, too.
It's unfair that he got ten times more than I got' 'That's true!!'
shouted the seventh man. 'Why should he get $10 back when I got only two?
The wealthy get all the breaks!'

'Wait a minute,' yelled the first four men in unison. 'We didn't get
anything at all. The system exploits the poor!'

The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.

The next night the tenth man didn't show up for drinks so the nine sat down
and had beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they
discovered something important. They didn't have enough money between all of
them for even half of the bill!


And that, ladies and gentlemen, journalists and college professors, is how
our tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes get the most
benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being
wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore. In fact, they might start
drinking overseas where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.

Current home mortgage crisis explained: the shell game

Suppose you want to buy a home.
You go to a reputable lender, fill out a blank local phone book's worth of paperwork (sign in 47 places, initial in 20).
Go home and wait a few days.
Get info from lender that you forgot to pay the paperboy 6 yrs ago for the Sunday paper.
Track down paperboy. Pay the $1.75. Report back to lender.
Bring in every current bill you have and the last 3 yrs worth of bank deposit slips, along with your last 3 statements.
Go home and wait.
Meet with the lender. Find out you have to give up cable TV to qualify.
Cut off Cable TV. Deal with angry teenager.
Sign multi-page contract with reasonable interest rate for 30 years.
Celebrate being a Homeowner.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch....

Government goes to lender (FED) and requests a loan of it's own money.
No credit check, no debt to income ratio nonsense, no references.
Loan is granted at reasonable interest rate.
FED tells Treasury to start the printing press and release into the economy another Billion $ in the Government account.

A short while later on Wall street...

Lots of commodity buying takes place with the freshly printed money at the current exchange rates.

a month later at the neighborhood Superstore....

The price of Bread, milk, GASOLINE, and other daily necessities sees a marked increase in price to reflect the new exchange rate of the recently diluted dollar (that month old Billion $ finally ends up in consumers pockets)

After about 6 months and a depleted savings account....

You decide that after canceling the paper, giving away the dog, selling your kit car, and keeping the Air conditioning at a comfortable 79 degrees, you still are not going to be able to make the house note now that your expense to income ratio is so far out of whack.

The bank forecloses after refusing the short sell.

You are out the $ you spent on house notes, improvements, and deposits, your credit is wrecked, your dignity is gone, and your homeless.

The bank experiences many of these and goes to the government for help.

The Government agrees to bailout the big lender, covering all the outstanding debts with money they will eventually recover from the now homeless, broke, and shamed taxpayer.

The bank ends up with all the $ from the payments made, gets the rest of the $ on the note from the government in the bailout, and gets the property to resell to the next homebuyer.

The Government gets to keep it's cozy codependent relationship with the banks intact for another day.

You get to read about all the "irresponsible" borrowers that wrecked the economy in a day old paper your took from a trashcan near the underpass where you now live.

Now THAT'S FUNNY!